Einsteining Your Human

Here's the thing about the work I do as a translator for spirit--when I sit with a client in a session, I don't get the cocktail party version of their life. (Everything's great! Work is fine, the kids are great, we are picking new paint colors for the kitchen!) I get the raw, the real, the nitty-gritty. Nobody is paying me to talk about paint colors. They want to know how to navigate the trauma they have from being abused. They want to know how to navigate the relationships that aren't serving them. They want to know how to deal with their child who is on drugs. And at the core of all of these challenges that people face, is judgment and shame. People are judging themselves as failures or as falling short because their life is not perfect, because they aren't "measuring up" to some version of success that equates to "having it all together". I'll tell you right now, if you wanted to go through your entire life having it all together, you wouldn't be here. You'd stay home, in the spiritual plane. I recently sat with a client who was dealing with the aftermath of rape, abortion, and long term anorexia. She thinks she's a mess. I think she's a spiritual warrior badass. I was in complete awe and reverence of her and her journey. These are incredibly tough challenges to navigate and her soul took them on to gain the growth opportunities such challenges present. That's pretty badass if you ask me.

Earth is full of diversity and adversity for the sake of our growth and expansion. It's precisely why we come here. It's precisely why we leave a place that is devoid of hate and violence to come to a place that is full of it. It's why we leave a vibration that is peaceful and serene and loving to enter into a vibrational space that is dense and difficult and tumultuous. We do this by choice. We do this because as a soul we view the earth as a magnificent school for learning and we eagerly sign up for some of it's most difficult classes. Have you considered that the very things that you judge yourself harshly for, the very things for which you consider yourself inferior, are the very things that make you a badass? Being on earth, having a human experience is not for the faint of heart. You're sort of a badass just by being here.

Several days ago I had a convo with my spirit guides that was a complete game changer for me. Every day I pray to be in service to the greatest good. It's my constant prayer, and my deepest desire. It's a vague wish in a way--setting the intention every day to be in service to the greatest good of all, without really knowing how that's going to show up in me or what I'm supposed to do to fulfill that. One day I wanted this clarity. What does it look like? How specifically can I do the most good in my life? This is what my guides said to me:

"You are most in service to the greatest good by continuing to grow and expand into the best version of yourself available. This doesn't' mean being perfect! It means being authentic with your current experience. It means navigating the range of emotions that show up in you in the best way you know how--allowing and feeling and expressing, ceasing judgment of what your emotional experience is at any given moment. LOVE WHO YOU ARE. You are an amazing human here in this amazing human realm of emotion that isn't available to you on the other side. Stop judging yourself and your process and embrace the human experience in all its fullness and richness--the sadness and the joy. The grief and the comfort. It is all so good. If you are feeling jealous or petty, arrogant, or snide, it's because you have something valuable to learn from that--something you signed up to learn about. So stop feeling bad about yourself for "being" judgmental, or "being" angry or whatever the case may be. These experiences don't make you a bad person or define you in any way. They are serving you. Treat those spaces as precious jewels that contain the very wisdom you came here to gain. Where is that nugget of wisdom? Of expansion potential? How can these experiences lead you to the best version of yourself?  You honor and serve the greatest good when you honor and serve your own human path and experience. Being fully who you are--the whole spectrum--cultivating those qualities you decide feel good to you and learning form the rest: that is the highest service. This has far reaching effects far beyond your understanding." 

Shit. This rocked my world. I knew it intellectually, and believed it spiritually, but for the first time it clicked in emotionally. All of the sudden I saw my life, every human life, as the profound gift of exploration that it is.

We use all these various yardsticks to measure ourselves against our peers, our culture's definition of success, and then we feel like we're doing something wrong because we can't stay in a healthy relationship for more than 12 months--totally forgetting that our soul signed up for Relationships 101 as part of its Earth curriculum; or we focus on how unlovable and unworthy we must be because our father and first boyfriend and second husband abandoned us, forgetting that we signed up for Abandoment 204 and Self-Worth 400. We are embarrassed and shamed by our inability to gain financial security--forgetting we signed up for Poverty 300. The very things we struggle with are the very things we chose through which to grow and to stretch us into a higher vibrational experience. Remember, we left a safe, happy loving world of spiritual bliss to come here. Who does that? Only spiritual badasses, that's who. We don't have to like  all of the experiences we have, but we can LOVE whatever version of humanness we chose to experience this time around.

Do you think Einstein perfected and proved his theory of relativity in one day? It was something he worked at. He prodded at. Trial and error. Lots of error. He assessed. He examined. He tried one thing, observed the consequences, then tried another. Nobody would say to Einstein, "dude, you can't figure this out on the first try?! You're pathetic! You're no good! What's wrong with you?" On the contrary, I think everyone would agree that Einstein's entire process, and end results were a positive contribution to humanity, one that moved us forward. We are doing exactly the same thing in this lab/classroom called Earth. We didn't sign up for particular lessons because we are already masters at them. We signed up to explore self-worth, and abandonment, and neglect, and arrogance, and self-consciousness because through the trial and error learning these experiences provide us we gain greater understanding and greater awareness, which propels all of humanity forward. So Einstein the shit out of your human. Love it. Be curious about it. Explore it's ranges of emotion and potential and interests. What works? What doesn't? What moves you closer to the love and joy and peace you seek? What moves your further away? How do you support yourself when you are in those tight unjoyful constricted spaces? What actions can you take to move yourself out of an undesirable situation? We aren't here to achieve perfection. We are here to grow. Growth, in this human plane, happens most often through adversity. It's why our soul signed up for challenges. Little growth occurs in a constant state of complacency.

I have believed this for most of my adult life, but finally, FINALLY, it has clicked for me and I'm learning to love my journey with a passion and fascination like never before because I finally get it in the core of my being that I'm not here to "do more". I don't need to feel bad about myself for not showing up in a situation in the most idealistic way. I've long been committed to freedom and empowerment and this feels like the biggest piece of that puzzle. I've never felt more free and more empowered than now, with the deep down realization that my "shortcomings" are just as beautiful, service-oriented, and intended, as my gifts. They are the very seeds through which growth--the growth I chose to explore in this lifetime--can occur.


In Love,
Heather