The Dance
In the spring I began to dance with a partner I wouldn't have chosen for myself but one that undoubtedly keeps me on my toes. We think of people either having cancer or not having cancer. Benign or malignant. Black and white. I'm learning to dance in the grey area. For the last four months I have navigated each day with this one question in mind, "Do I or don't I have cancer?" Here's the quick backstory: A significant lump is found in my thyroid (only 5% chance of those being cancerous), further testing is done because of it's concerning size and shape and these tests reveal the presence of a particular gene cluster that bumps me up to a 50% chance of it being malignant. The biopsy comes back inconclusive as thyroid biopsies notoriously are. "So what are the odds that this is malignant?" I asked my doctor. "50/50" is his reply. A big fat MAYBE. The protocol in such cases is removal of the thyroid (no they can't just remove the n