It's Okay To Lose Your Shit

Pardon my French. As a disclaimer, there will probably be a little more "french" coming up.

Not only is it okay to lose your shit (as if you need my permission to do anything), but it's healthy. The times in my life that I have found the most clarity have been immediately following a grand mal meltdown, old school temper tantrum style. Ranting, cursing, fussing, heels dug in. Usually these tantrums were the culmination of weeks if not months of unreleased frustration. Once I allowed that to move through me in a completely slobbery, snotty, uncivilized way (no one says it has to look pretty), I realized that it made the space for something else. Clarity. Calm. Peace.

So there's that. And then, there's also this desire, especially among those on a spiritual path, to "be the change we want to see in the world". I truly believe in this philosophy and I truly believe it is the way to changing our world for the better. So how do we reconcile this idea of being the change with the fact that sometimes we aren't feeling positive, peaceful feelings? How can we 'be the change' (i.e. be peace, be love, be light) if we are feeling everything but these qualities? In an effort to take the high road, and commit to our spiritual beliefs, we often attempt to stay calm and transcend "negative" emotions as they arise,  which often is nothing more than packing them down. Perhaps over time, with a lot of practice and meditation, we can achieve this transcendence. But until then, what do we do with this seemingly dichotomous situation?

I turned to my teachers in spirit for guidance. What I'm sharing below is the message that I received.

"Suppressing energy in any form is not beneficial to your well-being. This includes the suppression of anger as well as joy. When energy wells up in you in the form of an emotion it is looking for release. To prevent that release is essentially turning yourself into a pressure cooker. Energy needs to move. It needs to change form and express and continue moving. The nature of energy is not to be stagnant but in motion. When you pack emotions down you prevent energy from moving. You begin to store this energy inside yourself and eventually, if not released, it will lead to some form of blockage, emotionally and/or physically. Allowing energy to move is crucial to your mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual health. How it moves is up to you. You can, when anger surges in you, punch somebody in the nose, or you can take a half an hour session with the punching bag. How you handle the "how" is what makes the difference between those who seek peaceful resolution versus those who don't. 

The reference to being the change you wish to see in the world is a good one to incorporate here and it is not an either/or situation. It is not either be the change you wish to see or be angry sometimes. You are human and you are experiencing a range of emotions--some pleasant, some unpleasant. Finding safe and healthy ways to work through (honor, acknowledge, and release) the unpleasant feelings is part of being a positive change. Such a release will allow you to return to your center more quickly and efficiently. Likewise, releasing your emotions will prevent you from storing them inside of yourself and then eventually taking them out on others. Trying to be happy all the time and packing down your anger or sadness will lead to great imbalance and if you are aligned with 'being the change'.....well, the world already has enough imbalance. Be balanced. This doesn't mean you stay in a range of positive emotions all of the time. To be in balance means you learn to flow with what comes up for you and give expression and safe passage to that energy. How you do this might not make sense to you and it does not need to. You don't need to understand it. In fact, getting caught up in the mental process can slow you down. If you are compelled to scream, scream. If you are compelled to stomp your feet, stomp. If you are compelled to lay on the bed kicking your arms and legs--yes! Do that! Sing, scream, chant, air box, run, dance, stomp--do whatever it takes to move that energy. And then let it go. Move on. There is no need to break the experience down for heavy mental examination, unless of course you feel compelled to do that; if you feel it will serve you in some way. The bottom line is this: move your energy. Feel your emotions and give them safe expression. This does not make you incongruent with peace and love. It makes you an intelligent, healthy and conscious spiritual warrior. 

There is a great difference between the person who moves the energy of anger and frustration in the means we mentioned versus the person who expresses anger and frustration by verbally, emotionally, or physically harming others. The latter is the type of energy you try to prevent filling the world with. The previous is simply moving energy in safe ways. So you can rant around your house when you need to and still be in alignment with your desires to express loving peaceful energy to the world. Let that stuff move so you can get back to your center." 

I am still processing this information. For me, it does help reconcile the idea that we sometimes feel "negative" emotions with the desire to only contribute "positive" energy to the world. What do you think? Hopefully, this information can provide us all with a sense of peace concerning the human experience and the fact that at times we feel things that can feel very incongruent with love and light. I think perhaps that learning to honor all of the emotions we have, and learning to express them and move them in ways that are non-harming IS an expression of love and light--love for ourselves and our human experience and love for the world we live in.

Wherever your journey takes you, I wish you well.

In Love,
~heather

www.heatherwallace.net