It Begins With Us

I'm not going to tell you anything you don't already know in this post. This isn't about informing you. It's a call to action. The space between knowledge and application is where, despite our best intentions, we struggle. That's what this is about. Stepping more fully into your highest self. Becoming more conscious of how you're aligning your energy. Acting on the knowledge and beliefs you already hold. Becoming an even more dedicated and conscious spiritual warrior.

I've touched on this before--"being the change we wish to see in the world--even as recently as the last blog post. But I've been feeling the nudge to go even deeper here and explore this a little more fully. This is a topic that has been coming home in big ways in my own life. I've spent years on a self proclaimed spiritual path. Part of this, for me, involves being conscious of what I put out there into the world, how I think, what I say, and what needs healed. And yet, I see where there are places where I'm not being fully aligned with what it is I wish to see in the world, or with the person I want to be. This isn't about trying to attain some lofty expectation of ourselves or trying to be perfect and flawless, but rather about examining what we feel and say is important and to what degree we are still out of alignment with that.

Please allow me to digress. I recently read A Walk in the Woods by Bill Bryson. Clearly a very intelligent and articulate man, Bryson shares the story of his time hiking along the Appalachian Trail after spending years abroad in Europe. I immediately liked the story, but found myself getting irritated with the author. I felt his description of people and certain places in America were harsh, disrespectful, judgmental, and overly critical. I was basically starting to categorize this guy as an arrogant ass. I stopped reading in the middle of the story because I couldn't take this guy's looking down his nose at everyone and everything around him anymore. Then one afternoon I found myself driving behind a vehicle and having strong and unkind thoughts, judgments and opinions about this driver (who was exhibiting a serious surge of testosterone and machismo behavior). Not only was I judging him and being disgusted by him, I was categorizing him into an entire class of people which I was judging! Luckily, yet uncomfortably, I immediately saw what I was doing. My hand flew to my mouth and I gasped, "Oh my God! I'M Bill Bryson!" I realized how common this judgmental/critical/impatient behavior is in me when I drive. This wasn't a one time thing. Typically when I get behind the wheel of a car I express all kinds of energy that is completely out of harmony with the energy I wish to see expressed in the world.

I mentally thanked Mr. Bryson, who is probably not an arrogant ass at all, for showing me myself. How can I expect a world of peace and kindness when I, a contributor to that, am not fully aligned with peace and kindness? How often are we doing this? Wishing for others to be less judgmental, more kind, and yet not seeing those spaces in our self that is still acting in unkind and judgmental ways. I think the answer is, we are probably doing it a lot more than we know.

The thing is, we get caught up in the degree to which something is expressed. When someone is acting in outrageously arrogant or violent ways we easily judge them and truly feel that we are not acting arrogantly or violently because we aren't doing what that guy is doing. It's easy to overlook our own stuff when there are people in the world doing "worse" stuff. But the degree really doesn't matter. It's the energy. Whether you're being outwardly judgmental, or arrogant, or unkind, or whatever it may be, or adopting a more passive version of it, it's all the same energy. We let ourselves off the hook by judging other people and thereby fail to see where we are adding to that same energy we are disgusted by. Hating the terrorist is still hate. Yet because that hatred is bred out of our desire for a loving and kind world, we think we are being loving and kind when in reality our hatred is no different than the energy of anyone else's hatred. It contributes to the climate of hate just the same. What we are seeing in others that we don't like is their expression of ego instead of love. So how can we learn from that and see where we are doing things out of ego instead of love?

We can look out at the world and be disgusted by aggressive behavior and then fail to see that giving our partner the silent treatment is aggressive behavior (albeit a passive form, but aggression nonetheless). We are disgusted by the violence we see in the world and miss how our own thoughts and words can at times be violent (especially towards ourself, as self-deprecating thoughts are oh so common). We feel sad and angered when others are bullied and don't see how our gossip about others is also in energetic alignment with bullying. We wish to see an end to hatred in the world. And don't see the subtle ways we hate ourselves for everything we aren't (instead of loving who we are). We don't equate our self deprecating thoughts with "hatred" because we have a different picture of hatred in our minds. Our picture of hatred is big and extravagant like Adolf Hitler and ISIS. Because it shows up in us in a different, subtler form, we often miss it. My invitation here is to step up our game, walk our talk, and peel back those onion layers--continually asking ourselves, "Where am I contributing to discord?", because the likelihood is that our contributions are so subtle they fly under our radar. We say we are nothing like the terrorist because we would never blow up buildings, places, or people. The energy driving the terrorist is hate and righteousness. Is it possible that we are holding within us some form of hatred or righteousness? The energies are all the same and contributes to the same: suffering. All energies are creative. Regardless of the degree to which one is being unloving, it's still a matter of withholding love, which is exactly what we need to be pouring forth into the world. Love heals.

Pema Chodron says it like this in her book Taking the Leap: "Moment by moment we can choose to go toward further clarity and happiness or toward confusion and pain. In these times it seems crucial that we also keep in mind the wider context in which we make choices about how to live: this is the context of our beloved earth and the rather rocky condition it's in. We have a responsibility to think bigger these days. The main question is, are we living in a way that adds further aggression and self-centeredness to the mix, or are we adding some much needed sanity? I know how sincerely people wish for things to change and for beings everywhere to be free of suffering. But if we're honest with ourselves, do we have any idea how to put this aspiration into practice when it comes to our own lives? Do we have any clarity about how our own words and actions may be causing suffering? This is a time when disentangling ourselves is about more than our personal happiness. Working on ourselves and becoming more conscious about our own minds and emotions may be the only way for us to find solutions that address the welfare of all beings and the survival of the earth itself."

The times we are now in offers new opportunities to embrace a higher level of accountability, responsibility, and awareness. It's also about working with a higher vibration of LOVE. When we observe injustices in the world, whether they be large-scale, like terrorist attacks, or an individual act of brutality, instead of ranting on social media about it and hating the people engaged in these acts, we can stop and examine where we are expressing destructive behaviors too. How well are we managing our energy?

The next time you witness an act of violence or terrorism or any kind of injustice that upsets you and leaves you feeling utterly helpless, take it back to home base and ask yourself what you can do to be more aligned with love, peace, compassion, kindness, and forgiveness in your own life. When you heal a part of yourself, you help to heal the whole. That's how we can help. As Martin Luther King, Jr. said, "Darkness cannot drive out darkness. Only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate. Only love can do that."

So here is where our work comes in. This is taking-it-to-the-next-level stuff I'm talking about here. This is getting SUPER conscious about what it is exactly we are putting out into the world. I know you are already conscious and aware. I know you wish to see an end to suffering in the world and are doing what you can to help with that. I know you are already looking at your "stuff" and seeing how you can heal it, and being conscious about what you're putting out there. I also believe that there is a more subtle undercurrent running in the background that you might not even be aware of. It's that undercurrent of energy that I'm speaking of. I'd say most of our thoughts throughout the day are unconscious. Our mind is so used to wandering and chattering that we've essentially tuned it out. We drive from point A to point B completely lost in thought and really don't even know what it was we were thinking about. Let's tune back in. It's important to know what that chatter is saying. It's virtually creating our own experience in the world and contributing to the world climate itself, for better or worse. You might begin to see that you are teaching or preaching things that you aren't actually practicing yourself. You might discover that you are doing the very thing you hate having done to you. This is a call to get brutally honest with ourselves about our motivations for everything we say and do. Are we lying to ourselves in an effort to assuage the ego's bruises while staying convinced that's not what we're doing? For example, telling yourself that you told that person what a 'jerk' s/he is being (in the nicest way possible of course because we're 'spiritual' people after all) because it's good to be honest and it will help him/her grow--when in reality the motivating factor was it made you feel good to take that person down a notch because they said or did something that harmed you. We can be masters at lying to ourselves to protect the ego's truest intentions. If somebody hurt you and you need to address it, that's great. If you need to call attention to their behavior in an effort to express your feelings, that's great. Being mindful of how and why you respond, and your motivations for the words you choose is crucial. Is your response to them coming from a place of love or a place of retaliation? That differentiation makes all the difference. This type of internal honesty and examination takes tremendous integrity. And you undoubtedly have that level of integrity.

Despite being fairly positive people, with the best of intentions, and wishing only for peace and kindness to prevail in our world, our mental wanderings and ramblings are quite often less than peaceful. Pay attention to the small stuff. The thoughts you are having about others and yourself. How you speak about others and yourself. How you behave towards others and yourself. If it's anything other than LOVE, it's contributing to the already ample supplies of unloving energy in the world. This is nitty gritty stuff I'm asking you to get down to and the reason I'm putting it out to you is because you are the ones who are ready for this. You are the spiritual warriors who can do this work. You are the conscious, awake, and aware. You are the ones in the best position to take this vibration of LOVE to the next level.

It's important to become very clear about what it is we want to see in our own life and in the world at large and then align with those energies. It can be helpful to write down a list of what it is you believe, and what you want to experience, and then assess where you are and are not in alignment with that. There are many facets to hate, violence, judgment, criticism, segregation, intolerance, and so on. It's those quiet, subtler layers that might be running in the background without your awareness. Start monitoring your thoughts and words with hyper diligence. You will start to see what you are really putting out into the world. And it might be shockingly in contrast to what you think you are putting out into the world. We say we want an experience of something then often don't see how our thoughts words, and actions are in contradiction to that.

And so, the ultimate solution to all of this is LOVE. Love being the opposite of fear. Fear being what drives our ego to withhold love in an effort to protect itself (ego says it's easier to make somebody else 'wrong' rather than be vulnerable and look at our own less than loving contributions to the world). We need to LOVE ourselves. LOVE every facet of our being. LOVE when we are feeling good and being happy. LOVE and compassion when we are feeling angry, sad or small. LOVE when we forget that we are capable of LOVE and act in unloving ways. LOVE for all parts of our human journey. This doesn't mean we never feel angry or sad or envious or resentful. It means that when we do feel those things we choose to respond with LOVE. We avoid lashing out and retaliating, or stagnating in those uncomfortable and destructive energies. We instead find loving solutions to move through those emotions as they arise. When we need to take action, or to stand up for ourself, we do it with LOVE. This is what I'm asking you to do: I'm asking you to join the ranks of spiritual warriors in this LOVE revolution. The world cannot be a cohesive place until we, at the individual level, root out our own destructive patterns. The truth is, choosing LOVE over fear can be tough stuff. Our fears and insecurities would rather have us choosing ego preservation over LOVE. Choosing LOVE requires a tremendous amount of diligence, awareness, constant focus, and open hearted vulnerability. When we are angered or triggered it requires strength to respond in ways that honor our emotions without doing harm. Ego says I'll feel better if I retaliate. LOVE says how do I heal this in a way that benefits all concerned? 

The only way to achieve a better world is to do the work at the individual level. It unquestionably begins with us. Healing cannot possibly occur outwardly until it first occurs inwardly. Every time we choose LOVE we make the world a better place. Bit by bit we bring more and more light to our own lives and thereby the collective whole. We are ready for a new paradigm on this planet and we need people to show the way. Let's be those people.


In Love,
~heather

www.heatherwallace.net