Finding God....At the Airport

The idea to look for God—in every face I saw—came while I was sitting at an airport in Chicago. As I sat watching people, and watching my thoughts, I realized how judgmental and critical I am. Innocent people are passing to and fro and there I sit, thinking things like, “Gosh, those are dorky jeans”, or “Gee, he’s full of himself”. I was projecting—judging people in all the ways I don’t want to appear.  

I began to see how judgmental and critical I can be and how this applies to most areas of my life, most especially how I view myself. It dawns on me that I’m judging others harshly and critically because that is what I do to myself. I don’t like how this feels on any level and so I decide to try an experiment. I’m going to reverse my thinking. Every time someone passes by I’m going to think something positive about them. Nothing critical. I dive into this experiment, very excited. It lasts all of two minutes. I quickly realize this is a lame experiment because I don’t know these people, thereby I can’t find something of true value about their character. So I’m forced to find positive things about their appearances only. “I really like her boots.” “She has beautiful hair.” “He has a really nice smile.” While this feels better, it still feels a little flat. I’m not noticing anything that really matters. Appearances, hair, clothes...it doesn’t matter. I wanted to be able to say something of value about the person—“she is so kind”, “he is full of compassion”, but of course I can’t do this when I don’t know these people.

I decided to change tracks. I know that the spark of the Divine is in everyone. As I sit in this busy airport buzzing with people, I am literally surrounded by God. Every single person is an expression of God. I’m looking at God in every face that passes me by. Ok, wow, this is a humbling thought and I get very excited. New experiment. I decide that I’m going to treat everyone and see everyone as the expression of God that they are. Truly. Not be kind but secretly judge. Just kindness, no judgment. I know this may prove to be challenging because what if “God” is being really rude, or mean, or inconsiderate? How do I see God in them then? And I realized that any expression of rudeness, or inconsiderateness, is simply an expression of a person’s forgetfulness of his or her divine nature. When we are aligned with our divine nature, we realize there is no need to defend anything, to prove anything, to be anything, other than who we are. But when we forget we become insecure, defensive, self-conscious and agitated. And truthfully, isn’t this mostly how we go through our lives? Even while embracing a spiritual path, even with the knowledge of our divine nature, how often do we truly and consistently align with that? Speaking for myself, it’s not very often. It comes in fleeting glimpses but for the most part I view myself with a critical eye, overlooking the divine beauty in my soul in exchange for self-deprecation. Truly, at our core, we are all beautiful. How can we not be? We are God. Everything else is merely forgetfulness. And we know this. I know I’m not telling you anything new here. Yet, we choose not to operate from this one truth that would CHANGE EVERYTHING. Instead, it’s easier to dwell in self-deprecation and judgment of others.

And so I begin my experiment. As I look around at people passing by I begin to look at them with reverence and kindness instead of with criticism. I purchase a bottle of water from a woman and despite her initial grumpiness (which would typically cause me to become defensive and closed off) I offer her a genuine smile. I’m smiling at her because she is God. I wish her a good day because she is God and I wouldn’t treat God with anything less than kindness and well wishes. And her demeanor changes. She smiles. Her shoulders lift. She softens. Did I do this for her? No. I didn’t do anything. I merely saw her. I start to realize how important this is. It’s important to do this for ourselves. It is SO important to STOP criticizing. It’s important to look in the mirror and praise instead of self-deprecate. We need to be able to look in the mirror and smile and say, “You’re beautiful”.  But we don’t because something in us says no, you’re not beautiful with that nose, or that hair, or that weight, or those lips. Pardon my French, but that’s bullshit. We should be looking in the mirror and seeing the beautiful soul that is shining out from those eyes. Seeing our divine beauty. That’s all that matters.

So I continued the rest of my day with this perspective. As I traveled across the country, bumping up against my own fatigue and weariness, other people’s fatigue and weariness, I decided not to become irritable but to instead see the divine in every face I saw. I didn’t think much about it, it was just something to do, something to practice. And then a funny thing happened. The next morning I walked into the bathroom and as I looked in the mirror I smiled and said, “You’re beautiful.” I met myself with the same love and compassion I had been extending to others. I wasn't even planning to do this, or trying to do this, it just happened. This was quite a shift from my usual way of looking in the mirror and immediately noticing and lamenting over all of my perceived flaws. Instead of feeling disheartened by the lines on my face and the strands of gray in my hair, I simply met myself as I would meet a close and beloved friend. And I remembered a truth I’d forgotten. That our cells are always responding to our thoughts toward them. Project negative thoughts to the self and the cells become unhealthy. Project thoughts of love and appreciation for the self, and the cells thrive.

I also noticed that by shifting my focus this way, I moved through my day with a sense of peace and serenity. I was calm. Centered. I wasn’t having so much internal conflict with the people around me when they were being “inconsiderate” or “rude”. I was able to move into a more accepting space and find peace. When I went to bed that night I was moved to pray. I felt a deeper connection to that space of Divinity that resides in all of us, to our spiritual helpers (guides, angels, etc.) that support and love us. And I wanted to move into prayer to extend my gratitude for so many things. This simple experiment that began out of boredom and self-reflection in an airport was bringing me closer to...God? Myself? Source? It doesn’t matter. I’m not a religious person so I don’t need or want to label that Divine force/source that dwells in all of us. But I do know that in connecting with that Divine Energy, we come home. We move out of judgment, irritation, conflict, agitation, anger, and self-absorption, and we move into peace. We move into the heart of God.

I’m not delusional. I realize that this isn’t going to bring me into a state of sainthood....that I’m still going to get annoyed. I’m still going to get triggered. But maybe by continuing this practice of seeing the divine spark in myself and others instead of the things that I don’t like, over time I will get less annoyed. Less triggered. Maybe such a practice helps to bring us into a more consistent alignment with God, or our Higher Self. Maybe those moments of unity and love won’t be so fleeting, but will begin to last a little bit longer. All I know is that since I made a decision to try and shift my thinking, in less than 24 hours I have found more peace, more gratitude, more compassion, and more love. And for now, that’s good enough for me.

In Love,

~heather  

*Photo courtesy of google images, via The Ruby Gateway. 

For more information about Heather's work as a medium please visit www.heatherwallace.net