Soul Expression

So here I am doing the thing I didn't want to do--adding my voice to the corona-convo which feels like adding more noise to a cacophony. I've honestly been trying to avoid the conversation altogether but that has proven impossible. I'm in information overload. I am trying to minimize my intake and yet here I am creating more information. A big (very big) part of me is being drug kicking and screaming to the writing of this post but there is another part of me that needs to write this thing so here we are. For those of you who are feeling overwhelmed, feeling bombarded (with information and with energy), feeling energetically exhausted, who are dealing with the virus situation on it's surface as everyone else is but also have the added burden of feeling and managing all of the energy around it too--this is for you. Because, of all the information being flung around, I have not yet seen any that addresses this unique population of sensitive, intuitive, empathi...

In the spring I began to dance with a partner I wouldn't have chosen for myself but one that undoubtedly keeps me on my toes. We think of people either having cancer or not having cancer. Benign or malignant. Black and white. I'm learning to dance in the grey area. For the last four months I have navigated each day with this one question in mind, "Do I or don't I have cancer?" Here's the quick backstory: A significant lump is found in my thyroid (only 5% chance of those being cancerous), further testing is done because of it's concerning size and shape and these tests reveal the presence of a particular gene cluster that bumps me up to a 50% chance of it being malignant. The biopsy comes back inconclusive as thyroid biopsies notoriously are. "So what are the odds that this is malignant?" I asked my doctor. "50/50" is his reply. A big fat MAYBE. The protocol in such cases is removal of the thyroid (no they can't just remove the n...

I recently read The Kite Runner by Khaled Hosseini. If you've read it, you know. You know how heart wrenching it is. You know it's impossible to get through this book without navigating the terrain of your own grief for our broken world and for our brothers and sisters who suffer the greatest atrocities within it. As I was reading this novel that portrays a war torn country, and the atrocities inflicted by the Taliban, I stopped frequently to initiate conversations with my partner--mostly needing to vent my anger towards people who sadistically harm others "in the name of God". Nothing--I mean NOTHING--is more absurd to me than this. If you are committing violence in the name of God, you know nothing of God. This book riled me up and stirred my pot in big ways. My partner would roll his eyes and say, "You've got to stop reading this book". He didn't understand why I would choose to read something so profoundly horrific--why I would want to imm...

In ancient shamanic cultures, if a medicine man or woman was approached by a person complaining of feeling disheartened, dispirited or depressed the shaman would ask these questions: When did you stop dancing? When did you stop singing? When did you stop being enchanted by stories? When did you stop finding comfort in the sweet territory of silence? I heard this lovely message several weeks ago from a beloved teacher of mine while visiting a yoga center in Massachusetts. It resonated with me deeply--for its simplicity, for its truth. I arrived closed and constricted. Angry and impatient. Frustrated and annoyed. The divisiveness, the polarity in our world at this time was getting to me. I was stagnating in my judgment and frustration. I was over people and their shit. Surrounded by the beautiful Berkshire mountains I couldn't find my center. In wonderfully led yoga classes I couldn't find my center. And then I danced. Oh I danced! I danced from my root--heavy and ...

Here's the thing about the work I do as a translator for spirit--when I sit with a client in a session, I don't get the cocktail party version of their life. (Everything's great! Work is fine, the kids are great, we are picking new paint colors for the kitchen!) I get the raw, the real, the nitty-gritty. Nobody is paying me to talk about paint colors. They want to know how to navigate the trauma they have from being abused. They want to know how to navigate the relationships that aren't serving them. They want to know how to deal with their child who is on drugs. And at the core of all of these challenges that people face, is judgment and shame. People are judging themselves as failures or as falling short because their life is not perfect, because they aren't "measuring up" to some version of success that equates to "having it all together". I'll tell you right now, if you wanted to go through your entire life having it all together, yo...

During a recent rant session (unfortunately for my spirit guides, these are like massive WTF rants that I direct at them when I can't figure out my path and get uber frustrated. This happens more than I'd like to admit) my beautiful teachers is spirit said to me, "There is a natural rhythm to life, a flow that already exists. You can co-operate with that flow or try to meld the energy of that flow to your liking." I think we all know what it's like when we try to 'meld the energy to our liking'. That's where we get the whole swimming upstream experience. One reason we do this is because we are mostly more connected with our heads than our hearts, where that natural flow makes sense. It doesn't make sense to our heads. In order to sync with that flow we have to trust, which the brain says is LUDICROUS. Trusting is for dummies, says the brain. It is how people end up having the net pulled right out from under them. No good! Also, flow means we ha...